Oh man. I have been so TERRIBLE about keeping up with my blog - it's ridiculous! I have a very long New Years resolutions list going already and it's not even December yet. xD
Anyway - lots of changes going on at the moment. I dropped my classes a few weeks back because I was so overwhelmed. I found myself hating my classes. I wasn't attending class regularly or doing my homework. So I decided to withdraw from them and work for a little while until Mike graduates in May. We are so broke all the time, it makes us both crazy. I hate having to scrape together pennies at the end of the month to pay my insurance etc. Besides, I think it will give me some time to figure out what it is that I want to do for a living.
I applied for a job at Sears Portrait Studio, because I love photography and I knew they would teach me how to pose, but it turns out my photography skills are irrelevant; as long as I know how to sell. That kind of defeats the purpose of photography for me. I was called into an interview and it sounded like I was hired, but she said she needed to get the go-ahead from her boss to take the time off to train me in sales. I called a week later after hearing nothing and they said that they may not be able to hire anyone because it's so slow this season. Don't know if that's true or not, but whatever. I also put in an application at Hobby Lobby and at Sally Beauty Supply. The manager at Sally's said that the district manager would be in on Tuesday (tomorrow) and most likely want to interview me. She said she would call me that day. I am HOPING to get a call! I'd really like to work - it's been nice having a little time off to paint more shoes for Peach's Neet Feet, but other than that, I don't want to be sitting around on my butt. Mike and I really need the money.
I've looked at my options and what I am interested in. When I was little, I wanted to be a teacher. I would set my dolls up on my bed, pull out my chalkboard/easel and play school. I loved the thought of helping kids learn, grading papers and using stickers xD I helped my cousin teach her 1st grade class for a day last year and I LOVED it! Those kids had so much character. They all came up to me, gave me hugs and had the most interesting things to say! I adore children. So I've considered studying to become an elementary school teacher.
A few years back, I did an internship at the opera where my Dad sang (Gaertnerplatz Theater Munich) and had the most fun in makeup. I sat down and made a mask with clay completely from scratch with no knowledge or any idea what I was doing. They liked it so much that they ended up using it for one of the operas! My dad's girlfriend observed that I had natural talent, but at the time I really wasn't interested in doing it professionally. The past few years though, I have spend hours and hours in my free time watching makeup tutorials, nail tutorials and experimenting on my own. I love it! I actually did someone's nails for 30 bucks a session a few times because I had taught myself how to do professional nail art. I watched closely when I had my nails done and thought: "Hey, I can do this easy". So I practiced over and over on paper, fake nails and my own nails until I could paint equally well with both hands. I have also bleached and dyed my own hair and others's hair all sorts of different colors with decent success and little practice. The only area I have no experience with is hair cutting. I'd love to learn. My fiance's sister studied cosmetology and let me borrow her book - I spent all last night flipping through it and actually found it sort of exciting! xD
I won't know for a bit 100% what it is that I want to do (for now! haha), but I have a little time. It could be that in the end after my decision, I end up doing something completely different again, but that's okay. I've thought of even getting a degree in everything so that I could just pick and choose xD But I would be in school for a long time and I don't know if I want to do that.
Well, I should get off my blog and back to my life. But I figured I would drop a line or a hundred :) Cross your fingers for me tomorrow!! I hope I get that job...I need it!
Elle-Belle
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Lessons
This has indeed been a very eventful summer...well not eventful in the way most people would assume (vacations etc.), but eventful. Picture this: you are a pretty social person. You enjoy going out, meeting with people, seeing movies and just interacting with people in general. Then one day, just seeing people triggers an awful panic attack that hits you like an 18 wheeler. You are in the grocery store and suddenly feel nausea and begin to hyperventilate. You hear ringing in your ears, you begin to see a bunch of colorful spots and know that if you don't sit down, you are going to faint in front of a bunch of people, be sick or both. Yes. This happened to me.
The first time was actually during my first shoe delivery, that I posted about in my last entry, below. I was feeling perfectly fine, until we were about to leave. I had felt this way before in the first months of starting college, but never this strongly. It was the most horrible feeling I've ever had - I felt like I was going to be sick and for me, nausea is the worst feeling. I'd rather someone beat me up or fall down a flight of stairs and break a bone than feel nauseous. I'm not even kidding. I still went to deliver the shoes. When we first got there, I hid in the bathroom for several minutes until I finally had the courage to see all of those kids. When it was time for me to give Luke his shoes, I was having a full-blown silent panic attack and I was so ashamed and embarrassed, that I fought with all my might to hide the way I was feeling, with success. I had been looking forward to this, too! I was going to try and put his shoes on for him and everything, but it was all I could do to not be sick. I had no idea why I was feeling this way - I've sung in front of crowds of people, held speeches, danced in front of a crowd and all sorts of craziness and never felt this way. I don't get anxious like this - this was a task I should have been able to take on with no second thought! But it was so difficult for me. And I LOVE kids!
Later on in the evening, Mike and I tried to go to Walmart, and again. ANOTHER panic attack. Smack out of the blue, too! I was doing just fine, and the nausea just hit me for no reason. I was in the bathroom for what seemed like the longest time, afraid of the cashier! And I didn't even see who it was or anything - I was just deathly afraid of paying for the items. I couldn't even begin to explain how I was feeling, let alone why. We went through the drive thru for the coffee I had been wanting all day, and I began to panic again! I had a terrible night. I even called my mom at 2 AM which had to have been very early for her, but I had to talk to her. I felt like a small child. I was afraid of everything - everything triggered panic and it got to the point where I was afraid to be alive and conscious.
I was supposed to go to my friend's surprise graduation party, which I helped plan, but I couldn't even manage to get out of the bed. I couldn't drink, I couldn't eat and I couldn't sleep. Trying to sleep was like coming home from a long night at the club, incredibly drunk, shutting of the light and trying to sleep, but some jerk keeps turning the room on you. I couldn't even doze off without the nausea waking me up. So I stayed in bed all day with my aunt and uncle's dog. I tried to watch shows on my computer and could barely even do that without feeling nauseous. Everything made me feel just sick.
The anxiety didn't get any better. The only way I could think to describe it, was that I was afraid of people and that didn't even make sense. When I looked it up, I stumbled across "Agoraphobia", which is a social anxiety disorder that I had never heard of. The same night I looked it up, I wanted to try to go to the store, but couldn't work up the courage. I experienced such anger and self-loathing, that I had an incident that put me in the E.R. and left me staying the night at the hospital in the behavioral health unit under observation. I was scared to death of the hospital and was terrified of staying the night, especially in the psych ward, where I had some rough memories from my childhood.
I went home the next day and got on some anxiety medication and anti-depressants. I was diagnosed with agoraphobia and again diagnosed with depression, which didn't surprise me. When I went on the medication, I made a decision, which I failed to do the last time I had gone on medication. I was NOT going to let these feelings and my situation take over my life and dominate everything in it. I was going to fight this and let myself heal this summer. I was going to slowly force myself to get back into society and get rid of this roadblock called agoraphobia.
So I did. I slowly started making myself leave the house. In the beginning, it was torture...I had doctor's appointments that I almost arrived late to, because I was too scared to leave the house. I began with making myself go through the drive through. Just riding shotgun. I got myself used to that until I felt completely comfortable. Then I went to Mike's mom's work, where I knew people. My close friend from Illinois came to visit my for my 21st birthday for a surprise visit. I spent most of the time indoors with her, which she luckily didn't seem to mind. The day she had to go back, I forced myself to go along for the 3 hour drive to the airport in Albuquerque. No panic attack. :) The next day, I went to Target to get scrapbooking supplies. No panic attack! About a week later, I tried my luck again at Walmart. No Panic Attack!! I bit later, I was even able to make it to the mall! By the 1st of July, I was finally driving on my own again, which made me feel so wonderful! I've been getting better and better every day.
It wouldn't have been possible without the loving and kind support of friends, family and soon to be family! Mike and I came up with a code word and a plan if I had a panic attack. If I said the word, he would start talking to me about something random, just to keep my mind off of things. And it worked every single time. :) Just about a week ago, I was able to go to a restaurant again and be okay with people watching me eat. It was IHOP and we were in a closed off section of the restaurant in privacy, but I was still pretty proud of myself. xD
I am slowly getting of the anti anxiety medication and I am hoping that by the end of August when school starts off, I will be either close to or completely off of it. In May, I seriously thought I was going to have to cancel my classes and stay inside for the rest of my life. Now, I am fully confident that I am going to be okay!!
The crazy thing is that I have never been a very confident or positive person. I've always been a bit of an Eeyore; a the-glass-is-half-empty type of person. But not anymore. I am so extremely proud of myself for getting through this! There are still tough days for sure, and occasionally, I will experience panic, but I am doing so much better. I didn't allow myself to feel sorry for myself and fall into a deeper spiral into depression, which I usually would have done. I even got myself to quit smoking this summer, which was a HUGE step. This summer I have learned one of the most important lessons I think a person can learn - if you truly believe in something and fight for it, and most importantly, believe in yourself, ANYTHING is possible. And in the end, it's easier to fight for the good instead of giving in to the bad. I am so grateful for all the wonderful people in my life and thankful every day that it's just anxiety and depression I struggle with, and not anything life-threatening! Seeing the children I paint shoes for has given me so much to think about. Every time I paint a ribbon on those shoes, I think about what those kids have to go through EVERY DAY. They are fighting for their lives and can't just decide to do something about it. Their fate lies in the hands of this terrible illness and there is nothing they can do but pray to God that they will make it through this. Working with PNF reminds me to be grateful for everything I have in my life and taking nothing and no one for granted. EVER. Every day I wake up, I force myself to look around me and be thankful for what I have.
You probably wonder why I am writing all this personal crap on a blog. Truthfully, the reason I want to share this, is to share the fact that there is HOPE! You just have to keep fighting and not give in to the easy way out. Life can be so hard sometimes, but if it were not, how would we learn and how would anything in our lives have meaning? Enjoy every single day you live as if it were your last. Be thankful for the things you have, because there is always someone out there who has it much worse than you and STILL finds a way to be thankful for what they have. Be strong, be hopeful, be optimistic and NEVER, EVER give up.
- Elle-Belle
The first time was actually during my first shoe delivery, that I posted about in my last entry, below. I was feeling perfectly fine, until we were about to leave. I had felt this way before in the first months of starting college, but never this strongly. It was the most horrible feeling I've ever had - I felt like I was going to be sick and for me, nausea is the worst feeling. I'd rather someone beat me up or fall down a flight of stairs and break a bone than feel nauseous. I'm not even kidding. I still went to deliver the shoes. When we first got there, I hid in the bathroom for several minutes until I finally had the courage to see all of those kids. When it was time for me to give Luke his shoes, I was having a full-blown silent panic attack and I was so ashamed and embarrassed, that I fought with all my might to hide the way I was feeling, with success. I had been looking forward to this, too! I was going to try and put his shoes on for him and everything, but it was all I could do to not be sick. I had no idea why I was feeling this way - I've sung in front of crowds of people, held speeches, danced in front of a crowd and all sorts of craziness and never felt this way. I don't get anxious like this - this was a task I should have been able to take on with no second thought! But it was so difficult for me. And I LOVE kids!
Later on in the evening, Mike and I tried to go to Walmart, and again. ANOTHER panic attack. Smack out of the blue, too! I was doing just fine, and the nausea just hit me for no reason. I was in the bathroom for what seemed like the longest time, afraid of the cashier! And I didn't even see who it was or anything - I was just deathly afraid of paying for the items. I couldn't even begin to explain how I was feeling, let alone why. We went through the drive thru for the coffee I had been wanting all day, and I began to panic again! I had a terrible night. I even called my mom at 2 AM which had to have been very early for her, but I had to talk to her. I felt like a small child. I was afraid of everything - everything triggered panic and it got to the point where I was afraid to be alive and conscious.
I was supposed to go to my friend's surprise graduation party, which I helped plan, but I couldn't even manage to get out of the bed. I couldn't drink, I couldn't eat and I couldn't sleep. Trying to sleep was like coming home from a long night at the club, incredibly drunk, shutting of the light and trying to sleep, but some jerk keeps turning the room on you. I couldn't even doze off without the nausea waking me up. So I stayed in bed all day with my aunt and uncle's dog. I tried to watch shows on my computer and could barely even do that without feeling nauseous. Everything made me feel just sick.
The anxiety didn't get any better. The only way I could think to describe it, was that I was afraid of people and that didn't even make sense. When I looked it up, I stumbled across "Agoraphobia", which is a social anxiety disorder that I had never heard of. The same night I looked it up, I wanted to try to go to the store, but couldn't work up the courage. I experienced such anger and self-loathing, that I had an incident that put me in the E.R. and left me staying the night at the hospital in the behavioral health unit under observation. I was scared to death of the hospital and was terrified of staying the night, especially in the psych ward, where I had some rough memories from my childhood.
I went home the next day and got on some anxiety medication and anti-depressants. I was diagnosed with agoraphobia and again diagnosed with depression, which didn't surprise me. When I went on the medication, I made a decision, which I failed to do the last time I had gone on medication. I was NOT going to let these feelings and my situation take over my life and dominate everything in it. I was going to fight this and let myself heal this summer. I was going to slowly force myself to get back into society and get rid of this roadblock called agoraphobia.
So I did. I slowly started making myself leave the house. In the beginning, it was torture...I had doctor's appointments that I almost arrived late to, because I was too scared to leave the house. I began with making myself go through the drive through. Just riding shotgun. I got myself used to that until I felt completely comfortable. Then I went to Mike's mom's work, where I knew people. My close friend from Illinois came to visit my for my 21st birthday for a surprise visit. I spent most of the time indoors with her, which she luckily didn't seem to mind. The day she had to go back, I forced myself to go along for the 3 hour drive to the airport in Albuquerque. No panic attack. :) The next day, I went to Target to get scrapbooking supplies. No panic attack! About a week later, I tried my luck again at Walmart. No Panic Attack!! I bit later, I was even able to make it to the mall! By the 1st of July, I was finally driving on my own again, which made me feel so wonderful! I've been getting better and better every day.
It wouldn't have been possible without the loving and kind support of friends, family and soon to be family! Mike and I came up with a code word and a plan if I had a panic attack. If I said the word, he would start talking to me about something random, just to keep my mind off of things. And it worked every single time. :) Just about a week ago, I was able to go to a restaurant again and be okay with people watching me eat. It was IHOP and we were in a closed off section of the restaurant in privacy, but I was still pretty proud of myself. xD
I am slowly getting of the anti anxiety medication and I am hoping that by the end of August when school starts off, I will be either close to or completely off of it. In May, I seriously thought I was going to have to cancel my classes and stay inside for the rest of my life. Now, I am fully confident that I am going to be okay!!
The crazy thing is that I have never been a very confident or positive person. I've always been a bit of an Eeyore; a the-glass-is-half-empty type of person. But not anymore. I am so extremely proud of myself for getting through this! There are still tough days for sure, and occasionally, I will experience panic, but I am doing so much better. I didn't allow myself to feel sorry for myself and fall into a deeper spiral into depression, which I usually would have done. I even got myself to quit smoking this summer, which was a HUGE step. This summer I have learned one of the most important lessons I think a person can learn - if you truly believe in something and fight for it, and most importantly, believe in yourself, ANYTHING is possible. And in the end, it's easier to fight for the good instead of giving in to the bad. I am so grateful for all the wonderful people in my life and thankful every day that it's just anxiety and depression I struggle with, and not anything life-threatening! Seeing the children I paint shoes for has given me so much to think about. Every time I paint a ribbon on those shoes, I think about what those kids have to go through EVERY DAY. They are fighting for their lives and can't just decide to do something about it. Their fate lies in the hands of this terrible illness and there is nothing they can do but pray to God that they will make it through this. Working with PNF reminds me to be grateful for everything I have in my life and taking nothing and no one for granted. EVER. Every day I wake up, I force myself to look around me and be thankful for what I have.
You probably wonder why I am writing all this personal crap on a blog. Truthfully, the reason I want to share this, is to share the fact that there is HOPE! You just have to keep fighting and not give in to the easy way out. Life can be so hard sometimes, but if it were not, how would we learn and how would anything in our lives have meaning? Enjoy every single day you live as if it were your last. Be thankful for the things you have, because there is always someone out there who has it much worse than you and STILL finds a way to be thankful for what they have. Be strong, be hopeful, be optimistic and NEVER, EVER give up.
- Elle-Belle
Monday, May 14, 2012
My first PNF shoe fairy experience!
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| Luke getting his shoes! |
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| He is very shy! |
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| Admiring his Neet Feet! |
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| We were afraid the shoes were a bit too big and he would trip, but no! He took off! :D |
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| Luke and the PNF Crew |
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| Me, Madison Steiner (founder of PNF) and her brother, Corey Smith |
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| Here are Luke's new Neet Feet! |
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Marriage Thoughts
I may ruffle a few feathers with this one, I am sure, but this is a very strong topic that is too important to me to not talk about. Feel free to stop reading whenever you'd like - I will not at all be offended, because I know not everyone shares my beliefs, which I expect nobody to. So please don't be offended by anything I have to say, because I mean no offense and I do not let myself be offended by anything anyone else says that is against my beliefs. The only reason I post this is to give others a chance to take a step in my shoes and see where I'm coming from. I am not at all trying to convert anyone's beliefs. :)
So believe it or not, this whole "rant" was inspired by Jenna Marbles' latest video "My Thoughts On Marriage". I've wanted to voice my opinion on this for a while, but I didn't really know where to begin. That video really stirred up some thoughts and so I will just drop them all here.
I was raised Christian up until I was around 14 when my parents got divorced and it caused all this senseless drama at our church. You know, the standard: follow the ten commandments, don't have sex before marriage etc. After that, my beliefs were changed drastically. I won't go deeply into those beliefs, because they are really nobody's business but my own and I do not feel it's appropriate to discuss them here. After being surrounded by so many people (not all, but some), who had this whole mindset that there are "good Christians" and "bad Christians", I really started to feel that the entire "good Christian" behavior was nothing but idiotic and hypocritical. "You have premarital sex! You're a bad Christian." "You are living with your boyfriend and you aren't married? You're a bad Christian and I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore./I am going to do everything in my power to try to convince you that what you're doing is wrong."
Let me put it bluntly, screw that. Come on. Really? Last I heard, it was MY business and MY business only what I do in my personal life. What on earth does that have to do with anyone else? It's nobody's business but mine and my partner's and it's not anyone else's problem, so why should anyone be bothered by it? I'm not doing anything to harm anyone and I'm sure not trying to offend anyone. And it being nobody else's business brings me to another thing:
A lot of people tend to think that "their way" is the only way. "My way or the highway." I'm not directing this at any specific religion or belief. I am talking completely in general. What people in this world tend to lack is tolerance of other people's beliefs and views. In my personal opinion; if I am doing no emotional and physical harm to anyone or anything, why does it matter what I do? People will say things like: "You two aren't married, so you can't move in together. That's the wrong way." Excuse me. Wrong way for whom? "Do it right! Get married first!" In my personal opinion, that is the wrong way. Why on earth would I get married to somebody I haven't had the chance to live with? The whole reason people live together before getting married is because they either:
1. Have a commitment that is so strong, that it doesn't require marriage.
2. They are seeing what it is like to live together, to make absolutely sure that marriage is the right thing for them, do avoid divorce (also considered a sin)
3. They don't give a rat's rear end
4. They are doing what they feel is right
5. All of the above or a combination of two or several
They sure aren't moving in together so that they can have sex, because that's something they could do regardless. And staying together for life, having kids and living together is totally possible without marriage. I have a friend, whose parents were never married. They are happy and living together still and their kids are almost adults. They just don't share the same last name and aren't legally considered a couple. What's wrong with that? I admire these people more than married couples who last that long, because they stayed committed to one another without needing the documents to "force" it, if you will. Really, it's just paperwork. I see nothing wrong with it if that's what they want to do!
I personally want to get married, because it's something I've always dreamed of, ever since I was little, even though I didn't openly express it. I want to share a last name with my partner and be legally recognized as married by law. But we want to give it time. My partner and I are engaged, but we don't have a date set yet. Sure, I am young and engaged. But that doesn't mean I am going to get married next month. Or even next year. Or the year after that! Our engagement is a symbolization for us personally that we love each other and we are committed to one another. That is all. We will marry when the time is right, and we can afford to pay for it together, instead of relying on our families, who have already given us so much throughout the years, to pay for it for us.
This being said, brings me to another topic. If my partner and I, a man and a woman, have the right to get married and be seen as a married couple by law, why can't two men or two women have the right to do this? If they love each other, what's the big deal? A lot of people don't see gay relationships as "natural". I see it as completely natural! It's not a "genetic disorder" or any of the other crap people describe it as. It's not anything but this: a person grows up and develops likes and dislikes. Just because a woman grows up being fond of women or a man growing up being fond of a man doesn't make him or her unnatural or a sinner! It would be exactly like someone who likes dark chocolate hating on someone who likes white chocolate. It's the exact same difference and I'm sorry, but that just can't be argued. Nothing is exactly "meant to be". Babies are "supposed to" be born with a head, two legs, two arms, ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, two ears, one nose and one mouth. What about the babies who are born with no arms or legs? Are they sinners just because they don't fit into what society considers "normal"? Straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, black, white... - why do all of these labels exist? We are all human beings and humans have rights. The fact that rights have to be based off of a person's likes and dislikes and the color of their skin is complete bullshit to me. Period. (I could go off on a rant completely about this topic, but I won't right now.)
I believe we all need to stop judging one another, mind our own businesses, let everyone live their lives and take joy in other peoples' joy instead of taking their joy away from them.
Rant ends here.
- Elle-Belle
So believe it or not, this whole "rant" was inspired by Jenna Marbles' latest video "My Thoughts On Marriage". I've wanted to voice my opinion on this for a while, but I didn't really know where to begin. That video really stirred up some thoughts and so I will just drop them all here.
I was raised Christian up until I was around 14 when my parents got divorced and it caused all this senseless drama at our church. You know, the standard: follow the ten commandments, don't have sex before marriage etc. After that, my beliefs were changed drastically. I won't go deeply into those beliefs, because they are really nobody's business but my own and I do not feel it's appropriate to discuss them here. After being surrounded by so many people (not all, but some), who had this whole mindset that there are "good Christians" and "bad Christians", I really started to feel that the entire "good Christian" behavior was nothing but idiotic and hypocritical. "You have premarital sex! You're a bad Christian." "You are living with your boyfriend and you aren't married? You're a bad Christian and I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore./I am going to do everything in my power to try to convince you that what you're doing is wrong."
Let me put it bluntly, screw that. Come on. Really? Last I heard, it was MY business and MY business only what I do in my personal life. What on earth does that have to do with anyone else? It's nobody's business but mine and my partner's and it's not anyone else's problem, so why should anyone be bothered by it? I'm not doing anything to harm anyone and I'm sure not trying to offend anyone. And it being nobody else's business brings me to another thing:
A lot of people tend to think that "their way" is the only way. "My way or the highway." I'm not directing this at any specific religion or belief. I am talking completely in general. What people in this world tend to lack is tolerance of other people's beliefs and views. In my personal opinion; if I am doing no emotional and physical harm to anyone or anything, why does it matter what I do? People will say things like: "You two aren't married, so you can't move in together. That's the wrong way." Excuse me. Wrong way for whom? "Do it right! Get married first!" In my personal opinion, that is the wrong way. Why on earth would I get married to somebody I haven't had the chance to live with? The whole reason people live together before getting married is because they either:
1. Have a commitment that is so strong, that it doesn't require marriage.
2. They are seeing what it is like to live together, to make absolutely sure that marriage is the right thing for them, do avoid divorce (also considered a sin)
3. They don't give a rat's rear end
4. They are doing what they feel is right
5. All of the above or a combination of two or several
They sure aren't moving in together so that they can have sex, because that's something they could do regardless. And staying together for life, having kids and living together is totally possible without marriage. I have a friend, whose parents were never married. They are happy and living together still and their kids are almost adults. They just don't share the same last name and aren't legally considered a couple. What's wrong with that? I admire these people more than married couples who last that long, because they stayed committed to one another without needing the documents to "force" it, if you will. Really, it's just paperwork. I see nothing wrong with it if that's what they want to do!
I personally want to get married, because it's something I've always dreamed of, ever since I was little, even though I didn't openly express it. I want to share a last name with my partner and be legally recognized as married by law. But we want to give it time. My partner and I are engaged, but we don't have a date set yet. Sure, I am young and engaged. But that doesn't mean I am going to get married next month. Or even next year. Or the year after that! Our engagement is a symbolization for us personally that we love each other and we are committed to one another. That is all. We will marry when the time is right, and we can afford to pay for it together, instead of relying on our families, who have already given us so much throughout the years, to pay for it for us.
This being said, brings me to another topic. If my partner and I, a man and a woman, have the right to get married and be seen as a married couple by law, why can't two men or two women have the right to do this? If they love each other, what's the big deal? A lot of people don't see gay relationships as "natural". I see it as completely natural! It's not a "genetic disorder" or any of the other crap people describe it as. It's not anything but this: a person grows up and develops likes and dislikes. Just because a woman grows up being fond of women or a man growing up being fond of a man doesn't make him or her unnatural or a sinner! It would be exactly like someone who likes dark chocolate hating on someone who likes white chocolate. It's the exact same difference and I'm sorry, but that just can't be argued. Nothing is exactly "meant to be". Babies are "supposed to" be born with a head, two legs, two arms, ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, two ears, one nose and one mouth. What about the babies who are born with no arms or legs? Are they sinners just because they don't fit into what society considers "normal"? Straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, black, white... - why do all of these labels exist? We are all human beings and humans have rights. The fact that rights have to be based off of a person's likes and dislikes and the color of their skin is complete bullshit to me. Period. (I could go off on a rant completely about this topic, but I won't right now.)
I believe we all need to stop judging one another, mind our own businesses, let everyone live their lives and take joy in other peoples' joy instead of taking their joy away from them.
Rant ends here.
- Elle-Belle
Semester's End
It's finally the end of the semester...it has been since Tuesday, but it didn't really hit me until today. While everyone has been partying and enjoying the beginning of summer vacation, I've been shut in my room, dealing with anxiety attacks, too afraid to leave my house. My aunt and mother both think it's because of my lack of sleep and the amount of stress I had to deal with throughout the semester, which is probably the truth. I honestly have had trouble sleeping regularly, because of the nausea and eating regularly as well.
So I've made an agreement with myself that for the next few weeks, I will take on no projects and I won't make any plans. Because when I have an obligation (that's not really the right word...more responsibility or something that is expected of me), I begin to panic. Since I can't have a real vacation because of my lack of money, I am going to do nothing but take bubble baths, read books and watch cheesy movies. Maybe sit in a lawn chair in the yard, do a puzzle...something relaxing that doesn't require any real dedication. If I don't feel like continuing, I will stop and do something else. With scrapbooking and painting, I tend to force myself subconsciously to continue until I am finished, even if I don't finish what I've started until 4 AM. So I will stay away from that for a bit as well.
I also want to get my internal clock set straight again. I've not been going to bed regularly at all. One night it will be at 1, another it will be at 4 AM, sometimes 5, just depending on how I'm feeling and if I can sleep. I'd like to be able to get to bed by 11 and wake up at 10 during the break, which is a huge step for me, since I am not at all a morning person and I could sleep in till...well...mid- to late afternoon unless I am in school or have to work.
So if you know me personally, don't be at all offended or worried if I'm a bit anti-social or don't want to go out anywhere. My mind and body are just both exhausted and need some serious down time!!
- Elle-Belle
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Every 15 Minutes
Well, tomorrow morning we will be filming Every 15 Minutes and I am feeling a mix between excitement, nervousness and fear of both freaking out and/or messing up. Since everything is happening in real time in front of the entire high school, there is no room what so ever for mistakes. I offered to take photographs instead of film, since there will be so many people filming at once. So that puts extra pressure on me, since I will be the only one taking photos. Mike and I will be filming/taking photos of the crash scene and the police officers pulling kids out of class. I honestly admit that the morgue, the hospital and the jail were all a bit too much for me, especially since all three will have dead/sick/dying and arrested people already occupying them. I can't deal with death very well, as I had previously posted a few weeks ago, since I never really had to confront it until recently. So naturally, instead of facing it, I am going to steer clear from it.
In case you aren't familiar with Every 15 Minutes, it is a drunk driving program directly aimed at high school students. It features a very realistic looking, graphic crash scene that takes place after a party, in which the driver/one of the drivers has been drinking. The drunk driver gets hauled off to jail, while the other passengers are sent directly to either the morgue or the hospital. It's a pretty big deal; the entire school watches while police officers, ETs and fire fighters do their job in real time. That's why I mentioned earlier that when filming, there is no room to mess up. You can't just go back and redo something - it all has to be shot in one take. We are about 15 people on the film crew. A few will be going to the hospital, one to the morgue, one to the jail, one will ride in the ambulance, one in the helicopter and one or two will be driving with the police to the homes of the parents to film the police telling the kids parents that their kids have died in a DWI crash. Two of us (me and my boyfriend) will be staying at the school to film police officers pulling kids out of classes and then announcing to their class that that kid just died in a DWI. They will be doing this every 15 minutes, as the name suggests.
Anyway, I am hoping that everything will come out okay, especially since I was having problems with my images coming out to grainy with my camera when I took pictures of the party scene today. I don't know if it's a setting I need to mess with or what it is, but if all of my pictures come out this way tomorrow, I'll be screwed. Well, I'd better attempt to get to bed, before I get so nervous that I can't sleep. Cross your fingers for us!
- Elle-Belle
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Keegan
The second Peach's Neet Feet fighter I painted shoes for, Keegan, got his shoes today and his mother was kind enough to post some pictures :)
I got to see the smile I put on a child's face and it has made my terrible day turn into a good one. :) I love what I do!
- Elle-Belle
I got to see the smile I put on a child's face and it has made my terrible day turn into a good one. :) I love what I do!
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| http://www.facebook.com/KeeganBoy |
- Elle-Belle
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Tyler's Neet Feet!
Tyler’s Neet Feet! :) I am finally putting up my paints for the night. I was hoping to deliver these shoes personally to this four-year-old fighter tomorrow at noon, but it probably won’t be until sometime next week. :/ Anyway, I am totally stoked anyway and it was so much fun to paint a pair for a girl! (I had a much easier time with this pair ;D) Can’t wait to see the look on her face when she gets these :)
- Elle-Belle
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Just plain scared.
I can't sleep. At all. I know this may seem weird to most of you reading this, since most of you are most likely from the United States and have been exposed to this all your life. I really haven't had to deal with it this directly until now. I grew up in a very christian home most of my life, while living in a country where you could sleep on a park bench in the middle of the night in a bikini and not have to worry about anything happening to you. Okay, that might be a bit of an overstatement, but it is very close to the truth. I was very protected from some of the horrors that go on in this world. I NEVER feared walking around outside in the middle of the night or being stabbed or shot because I voiced my opinion to a stranger. Ever since I moved to the States, a huge wooden board with the words "REALITY CHECK" written in bold, red letters, smacked me right in the face.
I never had to deal with death directly as a kid or teen. I never had to deal with DUIs/DWIs, shootings, rape, murder or anything of the sort. As far as sickness, I never had to deal with any family members being anything other than mentally ill, which was somewhat controllable, and not life-threatening. The first time I had to deal with death was in September of 2009, when a car took my friend's right of way while he was on a motorcycle, and hit him. It took his life a few days later. It was a hit and run. It hit me hard. He was an ex-boyfriend, but we still stayed good friends. We both had our own groups of friends, but we kept promising each other to get together and play guitar. I hate myself to this day, that I never kept my promise to teach him how to play Master of Puppets.
I thought that would be it for a while. My Grandparents were all in good health and I really had no worries. It was on New Year's Eve 2011 that it started again. My fiance's dog Sockie, who I absolutely adored, passed away very suddenly from an infection. I never grew up with any animals besides fish, which don't really count, so I became very attached to this dog and this one hit me pretty hard, especially since it was quite sudden. The next hit me about two months later, when I got an E-MAIL (yes, an e-mail), telling me that my grandfather had cancer. An e-mail. It was just a few weeks later, that I got on facebook before bed and saw my cousin's post that my grandpa had passed away. FACEBOOK. Since my parents are overseas and in a different time zone, they weren't able to inform me exactly when it happened. It broke my heart.
A week later, we lost another dog. He ended up having to spend two full days in the Garage, covered with a blanket, because everything was closed for holidays and there was nothing we could do, which made it even harder to deal with.
Since then, mid February, I've had close friends lose parents. I keep seeing it all over the place. Working with Peach's Neet Feet, a non-profit organization that paints canvas shoes for kids with cancer and other illnesses and disabilities, I see pictures of sick, helpless little kids, who are too young to even understand what is happening with them. Do not get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE doing this. If there is anything at all I can do for these kids, it's to spend time doing what I love to put a smile on their faces. But man, it's rough to see.
I've always been a people person. I was always the one person who would comfort an enemy if he or she were crying. I hate seeing people in pain and hurting, physically or emotionally. The faith and belief I grew up with until my early teens is so rocky, I don't know what to believe. I have lost almost all faith in God, who is supposed to be a father. What father wouldn't fix his kid's problems if he possibly could?! That, however, is a completely different story.
Now, my Cinematography class at the college I attend is filming "Every 15 Minutes." If you're not aware of what this is; the program is a drunk driving education program for high school juniors and seniors. A VERY realistic looking DUI crash is set up and two to three kids "die" at the scene of the crash and in the hospital. I'm talking fake blood, brain matter, bones sticking out, glass sticking out of eyes - just about as disturbing you can get. To me, anyway. I mean I can deal with horror movies and psycho thrillers, but man, this stuff is pretty scary looking. Especially since it all happens live and it's so well played out. I know it's not real, but it represents something that happens, as the name of the program suggests, every 15 minutes. And it happens to people who did NOTHING wrong.
Honestly, if I didn't have such fresh wounds from all the crap that's happened this year already, I'd find this project pretty exciting. But I am beginning to dread it. I can see blood. I've seen it, I've dealt with it. I've done as much as take control and help a friend who nearly bled to death from a dangerously deep cut. But this is really a lot. And even though it's fake, to me it's so real. And every time I see these videos, it's just a reminder of my friend dying in that crash and all the other deaths I've encountered just in the first few months of 2012. I don't know how to feel about this video shoot and I can honestly say that I have no clue how well I'm going to be able to deal with it emotionally.
I ask myself: with so many people with cancer and other unpreventable life-threatening illnesses, why can't those who are more fortunate use the brains they were provided with to prevent shit like this from happening?! Don't drink and drive! Get a designated driver! WALK for crying out loud! Call a taxi! If you could afford all that booze, you can at least pay for a damn taxi! Treat people the way you'd like to be treated! Don't treat your classmates like shit, because believe it or not, they might just decide to bring their dad's gun to school one day. Don't threaten people with weapons! If you want money, GO APPLY FOR A JOB! If you've been mistreated and can't deal with it, seek some help! Don't make someone else pay for your misery! I could rant all day! If people would just have the common decency to treat their neighbors with respect and use common sense once in a while, crime and death rates would drop DRASTICALLY. I know I am expecting too much and I need to shut up and keep my thoughts to myself. But the fact that expecting people not to put others in life-threatening situations is too much to ask anymore, scares the living hell out of me.
My feelings about this may, as I said earlier, seem strange and rather pathetic to most of you reading this. But I felt it needed to be said by someone who is not as familiar with this culture as she thought she was and MAYBE come across someone who shares these feelings with me.
Friday, March 30, 2012
My Neet Feet! :)
Painted this tonight! I am hoping with time I'll get quicker - this one took me hours!!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Keegan's Neet Feet!
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| Shoes for a little boy named Keegan. |
Like his facebook prayer page! http://www.facebook.com/KeeganBoy
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
SMASH* Folios by K&Company
Hey everyone!
In January of this year, I came across a very interesting product, or series of products rather, when searching for fun journals on Amazon. I came across the SMASH* series by mistake, and it was the best mistake in the world.
Smash books are basically pre-made scrapbooks. They are spiral notebooks filled with really pretty paper, and every book has its own color and theme. Ever since I first discovered them, I have fallen completely in love!
I personally really enjoy collecting scraps of memories, but I've never quite known where to put them all. They've always just disappeared in the giant clutter that is my junk drawer; little notes from friends, photographs, magazine and newspaper snippets, concert tickets, and other random bits and bobs. The SMASH book is basically the scrapbook/journal version of a junk drawer. There is ALWAYS room for more stuff. I like to take a double page, theme it and just start randomly pasting things I find appropriate to generate something like this:
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| Four Corners Folk Festival Page |
I would recommend these products to...well...anyone who enjoys crafting or anyone who has ever wanted to experiment with scrapbooking, but was afraid to. These books are so much easier to use, because part of the work has been done for you. The pages are there. All you need to do is provide the content. It makes scrapbooking less intimidating and also much less time consuming for people who can only spare a little time.
I'd highly recommend watching the video introducing the product and telling me what you think. Have fun and happy smashing!
P.S.: There is an AWESOME SMASH* addicts group on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/groups/367533496595102/
It's just a great group of people who share the same hobby, pictures of their creations and where to find the greatest deals on supplies. As a matter of fact, I even found a pen pal! They've also begun a swap, where you and a selected partner send each other a package of random scrapbooking supples. :) I'd highly recommend checking out the group!
EDIT: People were being deleted and banned from the group for not following ridiculous rules. Those who questioned members being banned were also banned. I was also banned from the group, but did nothing wrong. So I say a bit GOOD RIDDANCE to that group! I'm in a new one now. I wish I had found it sooner!!
Monday, March 26, 2012
If only it were the 70's...
So I've been listening to a crap ton of Led Zeppelin and been watching That 70's Show in all of my spare time. (I think I am going back into my I-wish-I-had-been-a-teen-in-the-70s phase :P) I know That 70's Show is most likely NOT exactly the way it was back then, but the thing I really like is how everyone spends their free time HANGING OUT. I mean don't get me wrong, I appreciate computers and the internet, especially being the graphic design student I am, but it would be so NICE to actually sit down and spend time with people face to face as opposed to only chatting on Facebook. I have pretty much done away with Facebook chat completely, because I can't stand getting online to check my e-mail quickly before I'm off to do something else, and I then end up getting a barrage of instant messages from people, assuming I have all the time in the world to chat for the next several hours. So I end up feeling bad and don't get anything done for the rest of the day because I've been sucked into Facebook chat.
Unfortunately since I moved, chatting and skyping are the only ways for me to have any contact with family friends overseas, so it makes it difficult to just ditch the internet for a week to live as if I were in the 70s xD Bummer.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Peach's Neet Feet
Today, I handed my first pair of hand-painted shoes to Madison Steiner, founder of Peach's Neet Feet! I am proud to announce that I am now an official artist for Peach's Neet Feet, a non-profit organization that provides customized, hand-painted canvas sneakers to children with long term illnesses and diseases.
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| Shoes for Mason http://www.facebook.com/masonvsleukemia |
I had the privilege of meeting Madison and her brother Corey at the community college I attend, which is how I was made aware of this awesome cause. Since the organization was founded in July of 2011, over 180 pairs have been donated to children in over 30 states! I was immediately inspired by this incredibly selfless act.
Since I the age of 14, I have had a terrible addiction to canvas shoes and have spent hours of my time drawing all over them with Sharpies. When I heard of Peach's Neet Feet, I thought: "Brilliant! Why didn't I think of that!?" I wanted to be on board, because I knew that it would be a great way to be creative and help others at the same time. And for someone like me, nothing beats that!
After watching the Random Act of Kindness video and seeing the look on these children's faces after receiving a pair of shoes with their name and all of their favorite things on them, it literally brought tears of joy to my eyes.
It is such an honor to be working with such amazing people. I am so excited to continue designing more pairs to put smiles on the faces of kiddos who need it the most!
To learn more about Peach's Neet Feet and how you can help, visit http://peachsneetfeet.blogspot.com/ or like Peach's Neet Feet on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/PeachsNeetFeet .
- Elle-Belle
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Really?!
I am so annoyed. My boyfriend's band has been in exsitence since summer of 2010. Because of noise complaint issues with neighbors, they were forced to look for a practice space in town to rent. The place they found is really reasonable. The room isn't too big, but for the price asked for monthly rent, it would have been idiotic to turn down. The building they are renting the room in has several other businesses, so naturally, they practice after closing hours so that they don't disturb the businesses or their customers. However, there is one particular person renting, who has been causing trouble since day one.
At first, he had a "Jesus Loves You" thrift store in one of the store fronts of the building. It really wasn't a very good thrift store to be honest, it looked like a bunch of broken down stuff you'd find in a junk yard. Anyway, it became a hang out for bums and the homeless, who would do nothing more than sit around and get drunk in and in front of the store all day. The person running this place had spray painted "The Jesus Loves you Place" all over the exterior of the building and on the doors. It was a complete mess.
There is one bathroom with a toilet and sink in the downstairs of the building which is specifically only for those renting, so it was shared by the owner of the building, the Jesus Loves You guy, my boyfriend's band and the band next door to them. To Jesus Loves You guy, this was also a bathroom for the homeless, so the single bathroom was always without toilet paper, reeked of vomit and the toilet was usually clogged and the seat was covered in...it was just plain gross, enough said. So eventually in the summer, this guy was kicked out of the building and was forced to close down the thrift store.
A few months later, probably sometime in the fall, he was allowed to come back and instead start a "Jesus Loves You" ministry. So basically, it became a homeless shelter in a store front. He would leave the store front unlocked at night and since there was a door connecting the back of the store front, which was also unlocked, the bums could access the bathroom and the band rooms. They would come knock on the band's door and ask if they could play the drums or sing...and they wouldn't leave, no matter how politely we explained that it's a time for band practice and we really don't feel comfortable letting anyone else use the equipment. We'd try to use the bathroom and it was occupied by people getting sick from having drunk too much, trying to bathe in the sink etc. When we'd leave late at night, there would be people sleeping in the hallway that we had to step over.
When my boyfriend and I were painting the band room at one point in the summer actually, there were bums camped out outside saying that they were promised sandwiches and were asking us for food and money. They asked my boyfriend for his glow in the dark Misfits shirt...which he was currently wearing. He followed him all the way around the car asking him several times, while I had my thumb on the "9" button on my phone, ready to call the police. His friend had asked us if we were dating and had grabbed my arm trying to shake my hand saying that was awesome and wouldn't let it go. He finally did when Mike just about attacked him. It freaked me out. It really did. It's gotten to the point where the wives and girlfriends of the band members don't even want to go over there anymore because we can't use the bathrooms and we can't leave the room unless it's with one of the band members, because we don't want to be grabbed or begged at.
This morning, the landlord called my boyfriend and completely lost it, saying that he was about to kick both of the bands out, because there were beer cans all over the bathroom and it was left a complete mess, vomit and all. I can, with full confidence say that NOBODY in the band drinks alcohol. Period. And half the band is underage! I understand the fact that a band full of colorful haired, tattooed guys would be more likely to drink than people coming to a ministry, but this is not the case at all. And the landlord knew about the issue with the Jesus Loves You Place in the past. So the bands are basically being framed (most likely by the businesses who aren't around at night to see everything go down, which I can understand) for the mess that the bums are making, because the owner of Jesus Loves You doesn't lock up his store at night. The landlord also says he doesn't want to hear any more complaints from anyone.
Now my question is: is the Jesus Loves You guy so blind to not see that he is being used by all of these homeless people for a place to tweak, get drunk and spend the night?! They don't give a care about his ministry or God for that matter. Why does he keep doing this and putting everyone's business and safety in the entire building at risk? Don't get me wrong. I think it's awesome that a christian man would like to give those people a chance, who need it the most. And I think it's wonderful that he wants to help these people and give them a place to come and talk and possibly get to know the Lord. But if all they are doing is using him for a place to get high, drunk and sleep, what's the point? At this point, if he really wants to do the right thing, he should call the landlord and tell him that the mess being left is his responsibility. Because this really isn't fair to anyone, including Jesus Loves You guy.
At first, he had a "Jesus Loves You" thrift store in one of the store fronts of the building. It really wasn't a very good thrift store to be honest, it looked like a bunch of broken down stuff you'd find in a junk yard. Anyway, it became a hang out for bums and the homeless, who would do nothing more than sit around and get drunk in and in front of the store all day. The person running this place had spray painted "The Jesus Loves you Place" all over the exterior of the building and on the doors. It was a complete mess.
There is one bathroom with a toilet and sink in the downstairs of the building which is specifically only for those renting, so it was shared by the owner of the building, the Jesus Loves You guy, my boyfriend's band and the band next door to them. To Jesus Loves You guy, this was also a bathroom for the homeless, so the single bathroom was always without toilet paper, reeked of vomit and the toilet was usually clogged and the seat was covered in...it was just plain gross, enough said. So eventually in the summer, this guy was kicked out of the building and was forced to close down the thrift store.
A few months later, probably sometime in the fall, he was allowed to come back and instead start a "Jesus Loves You" ministry. So basically, it became a homeless shelter in a store front. He would leave the store front unlocked at night and since there was a door connecting the back of the store front, which was also unlocked, the bums could access the bathroom and the band rooms. They would come knock on the band's door and ask if they could play the drums or sing...and they wouldn't leave, no matter how politely we explained that it's a time for band practice and we really don't feel comfortable letting anyone else use the equipment. We'd try to use the bathroom and it was occupied by people getting sick from having drunk too much, trying to bathe in the sink etc. When we'd leave late at night, there would be people sleeping in the hallway that we had to step over.
When my boyfriend and I were painting the band room at one point in the summer actually, there were bums camped out outside saying that they were promised sandwiches and were asking us for food and money. They asked my boyfriend for his glow in the dark Misfits shirt...which he was currently wearing. He followed him all the way around the car asking him several times, while I had my thumb on the "9" button on my phone, ready to call the police. His friend had asked us if we were dating and had grabbed my arm trying to shake my hand saying that was awesome and wouldn't let it go. He finally did when Mike just about attacked him. It freaked me out. It really did. It's gotten to the point where the wives and girlfriends of the band members don't even want to go over there anymore because we can't use the bathrooms and we can't leave the room unless it's with one of the band members, because we don't want to be grabbed or begged at.
This morning, the landlord called my boyfriend and completely lost it, saying that he was about to kick both of the bands out, because there were beer cans all over the bathroom and it was left a complete mess, vomit and all. I can, with full confidence say that NOBODY in the band drinks alcohol. Period. And half the band is underage! I understand the fact that a band full of colorful haired, tattooed guys would be more likely to drink than people coming to a ministry, but this is not the case at all. And the landlord knew about the issue with the Jesus Loves You Place in the past. So the bands are basically being framed (most likely by the businesses who aren't around at night to see everything go down, which I can understand) for the mess that the bums are making, because the owner of Jesus Loves You doesn't lock up his store at night. The landlord also says he doesn't want to hear any more complaints from anyone.
Now my question is: is the Jesus Loves You guy so blind to not see that he is being used by all of these homeless people for a place to tweak, get drunk and spend the night?! They don't give a care about his ministry or God for that matter. Why does he keep doing this and putting everyone's business and safety in the entire building at risk? Don't get me wrong. I think it's awesome that a christian man would like to give those people a chance, who need it the most. And I think it's wonderful that he wants to help these people and give them a place to come and talk and possibly get to know the Lord. But if all they are doing is using him for a place to get high, drunk and sleep, what's the point? At this point, if he really wants to do the right thing, he should call the landlord and tell him that the mess being left is his responsibility. Because this really isn't fair to anyone, including Jesus Loves You guy.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Valentine's Day
I know people say that Valentine's Day is completely commercialized and lame and I agree to some level, but I've been longing for a good Valentine's Day for a long time. Today is a good day :D I got an ADORABLE little stuffed critter from Mike (We can't decide if it's a giraffe or a cow xD)
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and we are going to go eat ice cream and watch "The Vow" later. :) I know it's cheesy, but I seriously can't wait. It's nice to have a special day! I am a happy camper. <3 Happy Valentine's Day!
- Elle-Belle
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Animal Photo Shoot
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| Killer Jane <3 |
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| How can you not LOVE that face? |
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| When I saw this, I almost wet my pants. xD What a ham |
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| This is Yoda. He is a handsome Mr. Critter. :) |
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| Peanut. This is the look I attempt to resist EVERY DAY and fail every time. |
Monday, February 6, 2012
January Favorites!
I know I am about a week late with this. I wanted to start making a list of my favorite things I come across at the end of each month; anything from food to art supplies! A lot of people vlog about it instead of blog their monthly favorite things, but I'm a wee bit camera shy, so I'd prefer to do it this way instead. :)
DRINKS
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| Grove Square Hot Cocoa for Keurig |
A cup of this hot cocoa and a banana has been my breakfast for the past while! The KEURIG machine is great...it requires only water and one of these little cups and the best part is: NO MESS! The water heats up quickly with the press of a button. When it's heated up, a little light will blink next to a button with a cup on it. Press this, and your cup will be ready as soon as it's finished pouring! I add a little milk and voila. Love it! Not sure how many calories are in a little pack, but since all I generally drink is water, I am not too terribly worried about it.
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| Mega Monster Energy |
Now I really don't drink energy drinks as often because they tend to make me shaky, but as a college student, there are some nights that you get little to no sleep and you need a little kick! Mike and I went to the Tool concert in about 3 hours from where we live in January and I decided to grab two of these at the gas station for the whole event, since we'd have to drive back home that night and go to class the next morning. o.O I made sure to eat enough food along with the drink, otherwise it would have made me very shaky. It got me through the whole drive to keep Mike awake and the second one kept me through the next day in school.
I've had Red Bull before, but it doesn't make me feel good for some reason. ESPECIALLY when I haven't had enough to eat! Monster is the perfect dose of kick and I prefer the taste over Red Bull!
BOOKS
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| House of Night Series |
The House of Night series is a vampire series targeted at a teen a female teen/young adult audience. When I say vampire, I am not talking Twilight sparkly vampire. The vampires in these books are really like no other vampires you've ever read about. They are much different and in my opinion more vampire-like than the Twilight vampires.
They focus on a teenage girl who has been "marked" (chosen to be a vampire) and is sent to go to a vampYre finishing school (they spell "vampire" with a "y" instead). Here the girl encounters many struggles with this new lifestyle, but also the struggles of a teenager, relationships and feelings. I will not say any more, because I am the type of person who prefers to grab a book at random and begin to read without reading the description, because I don't want to read anything that may ruin the story.
The thing I really like about these books, is that they portray teenagers the way they actually are. The teenagers sound like typical everyday teenagers...they curse and discuss intimacy. (I would not recommend this to anyone who is offended by foul language or sexual references!)
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| Wreck This Journal with a few things I've done so far. |
I ordered this book in a set along with two others off of Amazon as a late Christmas gift to myself (yeah I know xD) and I couldn't be more pleased! I haven't even done a whole lot yet, because I don't want to fill up the book so fast! I had posted an earlier entry about "Wreck This Box" which contains "Wreck This Journal", "Mess" and "This Is Not A Book", where you can read more about this "journal". It is perfect for any perfectionist who always feels the need to make everything perfect. (ME!) This book's instructions are to DESTROY. Well, if it's telling me to...I guess it's okay.... ;D
ORGANIZING
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1" Staples Better Mini View Binder with Purple pencil storage. (Staples brand) (To get better view of binder:
http://www.staples.com/1-Staples-Better-5-1-2-x-8-1-2-Mini-View/product_924440 )
I am an organizing FREAK and really want to get good quality and durable products that I am going to be using on a daily basis and need to keep my documents etc. nice. That particular binder is the best one I've EVER had. Because of the material, It won't get bent or beat up when bouncing around in my backpack and it will keep my documents nice but not be too heavy at the same time. The variety of colors makes it easy to color-coordinate.
The Slash Pockets are great for handouts that I receive in class, when I don't have a hole punch handy. It's also nice to be able to stash my artwork and other various things that I don't want to punch holes in! Each folder has pockets on both sides, so each subject can have two pockets to store in. They also come with plenty of labels to insert into the tabs, as opposed to writing on the tabs, so that you can re-use the Dividers for something else later.
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The pouch is great for pens and other random little items that you'd like to keep in one place. There are several slots on the back side to store index cards...basically anything flat. The front has a netted pocket (I am using it for paper clips) and then an inner, bigger pocket with lining in the middle, which separates the bigger pocket into two parts, if that makes sense. (Very hard to describe without being able to show it! Sorry!)
BEAUTY AND HYGIENE
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| Japanese Cherry Blossom collection from Bath and Body Works |
I got these for Christmas and MAN! It smells SO GOOD! I have been using them on a daily basis and I would highly recommend them! The mini spray and the mini body wash were part of a set with another mini lotion, which I keep in my backpack as a hand lotion. :)
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| Clearasil Rapid Action Pads |
I got these at Target for about 8 bucks...sounds a little pricey, but I use these at least every other day and I bought this in AUGUST. The pads are sliver-thin and extremely effective! I am not very prone to acne, but every time I experience it a bit or feel that my skin is getting oily and bumpy, these pads get rid of it. I tried the Rapid Action Face Wash, but I really like the pads the best. However, it is important to use a face cream after using these, since they contain alcohol and really dry out your skin! (Warning: They're strong! Definitely avoid contact in eye area.) Also, these pads are perfect for taking hair dye off of skin. I have tried so many different methods, but these work the absolute best; I promise you!!
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| Oral-B Professional Care SmartSeries 4000 Electric Toothbrush |
I used an electric toothbrush when I was younger, but as I got older, I really hated using them. This one has four different brushing modes (Daily Clean, Sensitive, Whitening and DeepClean) that are specific to what you want to get out of brushing. The brush, as all others, will do the work for you and more. You can tell it what to do by pressing the arrow button. It came with two different brush heads: the FlossAction brush (right) and the ProWhite brush (left). The FlossAction brush gives me the feel that I've flossed when I'm done and the ProWhite brush really helps the whitening. Since I can no longer afford expensive WhiteStrips, I take a Q-Tip (I have recently found this out) and dunk it in Hydrogen Peroxide. I rub it over my teeth and leave it there for 30 seconds before I begin brushing. I do this once a day, so I tend to use the ProWhite brush in the morning and the FlossAction in the evening. It works really well and I am already seeing fabulous results! I am hoping to keep my goal of never getting a cavity!
GADGETS
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| Snark Instrument Tuner |
This little guy is great! It can be used for any instrument (here I am tuning a violin) and will clip onto it without slipping off. Very easy to use, GREAT design and very accurate! Highly recommended for any musician.
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| Microsoft Arc Touch Mouse |
I actually got this for Mike for Christmas. I can see why he loves it so much. You keep in it's flat state when not in use to save the battery (turned off) and to switch it on you just curve it! There is a strong magnetic piece in the bottom of the mouse in one area to hold the Nano Transceiver piece that you plug into the computer, so it won't get lost. (And trust me, if it were to somehow come off in the bag, it would re-attach itself quickly...that's how strong the magnet is.) The technology allows it to work on any surface, be it carpet or a marble counter. You only need to flick your finger on the middle piece to scroll up and down. I am half tempted to buy one for myself! Comfortable and amazing technology!
ART SUPPLIES
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| Faber Castell Perfection Eraser 7056, Master's Touch Blending Stub (3/8) and the KUM Elipse Pencil Sharpener |
I bought all three of these at Hobby Lobby, mainly for my Art class. I enjoy sketching and these will be extremely handy! I am so glad I found the eraser...I had one in Germany. It allows very detailed work.
The blending stubs keep you from having to smear around with your finger!
A girl in my class had this sharpener, which worked wonders in comparison to my old one or the one on the wall of the art room. It is very sharp and handy to carry around! Just be sure to empty it on a regular basis or it will begin to get clogged.
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| Zig Millenium Pens (Sorry about the blur!!) |
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